grocery stores.

17 Nov

so i told you i live in that killer j.crew necklace…

here’s the proof. courtesy of a recent fat & juicy tasting. these days absolutely blow my mind- in a good way of course. you would seriously be amazed at what happens at the grocery store on friday afternoons. what a little luxury i have. shoppers wander around aimlessly, pushing their carts full of little debbie cakes and all types of meat. for hours. and hours. i mean i love a good oatmeal creme pie, but do they really sustain you between meals? or let’s get real, even for an hour? it’s probably going to give you a sugar rush in like 5 seconds. pure bliss. sometimes these shoppers are there longer than i am. and they either 1. instantly become wildly intrigued with any item in the opposite direction of my table, even if it’s pork rinds or 2. love to talk to a captive audience. about couponing (i literally know everything there is to know now. like how some grocery stores triple coupons. rebates. making money.) thanks lady who bought her husband a motorcycle with her rebate money. about potato peels. about their illnesses. parents see me and drag their kids by the arm in the opposite direction as fast as they can in fear that i might offer them something inappropriate. i frequently hear the question, “can kids have this”? how do i answer that question? a bloody mary mix, non-alcoholic of course. i don’t want to start them on that path. but it’s pretty much a grown-up v-8 juice. what kid doesn’t need extra nutrients?

i welcome company. and promise it will be quite entertaining.

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